CTRL+ALT+DEL: Subtlety.exe has crashed
2026 has been one largely of heady contemplation thus far. Each step I’ve taken, while natural, seems automatic, unthought. Necessary but unenlightened. Counting losses and gains material, emotional, and spiritual always brings my most Aquarian traits forward, for contemplation and silent discernment, and I get lost in the silence of long walks at twilight through parks and cemeteries.
And with pains of 2025 bleeding into this one, the threat of maintaining course on a dead-end path creeps forward into view like a cliff for a car with no brake pedal. It feels easy, in these times, to shrink into comfort and safety.
I, too, have spent a number of days considering whether or not it’s safe for me to continue my work as a domme and escort. I’ve wondered where I can find safety and financial security in a country that is actively seeking my persecution and diminishment, to the point of leaving the country I once served, permanently. Its asks are soul-crushing: to be demure, dainty, quiet. Neither seen, nor heard.
But, the heavens herald change. In two days, the Sun eclipses in Aquarius. With it, my mind hums, and my body aches as I feel the demands to no longer conform, but create my own space. To redouble the things that drive my heart, bring life to my mind and body alike.
Moreover, I’ve seen doors to easier, more socially acceptable paths shut with the polite finality one closes the door on the world which no longer recognizes the language you speak, attempting to sell the salvation of diminishment and conformity in three easy installments.
Living is not surviving, and what point is there in surviving when survival demands self-denial?
My personal walk of faith with the Goddess Ishtar doesn’t require me to walk the straight and narrow. I’m allowed to bounce against as many walls as I require, and break my own bones along the way, if I refuse to go willingly. The truth is, in writing this, I’m reaffirming my direction. And, in reading this, you show me that I am on the right path for me.
Whether we look at the charging Flaming Horse of the Chinese Calendar, or the eclipse’s hard reboot performed in Aquarius, the effects are similar: the time for subtlety is over. It’s time I enter my baddie phase. So, let’s speak pure and plain a moment:
I am a transhumanist- I augment my body with science, art, and evidence-based practice with intention, taking over to finish what nature started.
I have lived experience as a trans woman. I am an Amazon whose ‘clit’ is as large as her physical presence. I’m almost always both the largest and girthiest in the room, and I know exactly how to use it. While ginger to neophytes, everyone must adjust to my presence and the space I take. I derive immense, sinister pleasure when a client realizes I’ve converted them into a size queen or prince against their desire.
I am a domme. Do not confuse my tenderness with weakness, my empathy as submission. I am indomitable in will, indefatigable in endurance, insatiable in passion. I live for your knees to buckle under the gravity of my attention, your cells crying to be used for my own pleasure. And even in those moments where power dynamic is not in the forefront, power still flows between us as the slow current of a deep, grand river.
My passion and my profession is emotional and mental as much as it is physical. I desire nothing but to leave companions feeling in awe: seen, realized, fulfilled, and wanting more.
Whether you long to be seen, held, protected, explored, ravaged, or exhausted in bliss; you could be mine. Again, and again.
